Beautiful Drifter

drift·wood: drif(t)wo͝od/noun: pieces of wood that are floating on the sea or have been washed ashore.

Dear God,

I want to be open and transparent tonight about my struggle currently. Life seems to be pulling every which way and honestly, I feel like each day I drift farther from You. Like a sailboat out to sea, who has it’s sails up but a few knots are either loose or maybe even undone all the way, the sails are starting to flap wildly…that sail…is me. Pull me in to Your shore Lord. I need it!

I have drifted from God…again.

More times than I can count have been out at sea with those wildly flapping sails on my boat and each time I’m loving brought back to the shore a changed woman. It seems to be a common occurrence for me to get out there. It happens pretty easily since I have a severe case of Adult ADHD that went untreated until my mid-thirties but even with medication my boat gets way off course.

I can’t sit down day by day like normal people to pray or read my Bible. I can’t pray and drive. I can’t do the whole walking prayer thing…and to speak honestly on behalf of all who suffer with Adult ADHD; prayers in a church congregation for us is somewhat of a torture…our prayer is totally different from the person praying. Ours is more a long the lines of “Dear God, please don’t let me think of something funny and start laughing.” This usually has the reverse effect.

For us, it’s hard daily to just focus on a profession that by the time we arrive home we want to do whatever we can to disconnect or use our mind. For me this always comes with a cost and that cost is my personal time with Christ and before you know it I’m back out there in the sea, looking for the compass or light house guide to return to shore.

The scary part is when you can see the light house or shore and you start your journey back. The whole way back that sail is wildly flapping in the wind causing so many distractions along the way and before you know it you’ve reached the light house with a torn sail, chipped boat, raveled rope and broken spirit.

You feel ugly. You feel unusable.

What if I told you that is when you are the most beautiful? That some go out spending hours looking for just a creation like that?

Let’s look at something I am so fascinated with…driftwood.

I love the stuff!

In fact we are going to the beach this weekend and one thing I am desperately looking for is some driftwood to bring into our home.

This wood is magnificent because it can start out in many ways. Take a tall beautiful tree standing on a rivers edge. During the storm season and flooding the ground becomes soft and the tree is shaken from it’s root and ends up falling into the river. As the waters rush it gets carried down the river and out to sea only to eventually end up in an ocean and on a beach shore some place.

All along this journey of the tree, it’s hitting river rocks, being tossed and turned in the sea and ocean, being sanded down by salt and elements that it’s whole appearance has started to changed. The bark becomes torn off, the coloring of caramel fades into shades of blues and soft grays. The patterns of the rings have changed into one of of a kind unique designs and even the over all shape has transformed.

The transformation is complete beauty; something many artist spend countless hours on beach shores all over the world trying to obtain these unique wood pieces.

This life we have is no different. We can be standing right in the center of God’s plan for our lives when a storm comes to town, uproots us and carries us out to sea. We hang out there for sometime, fighting the waves, getting salt in our eyes, mouth and hair until we are carried to the ocean, were it becomes a little easier for us because we can see the shore line.

When we get to the shore, we look at ourselves and see something damaged from all the fighting. We see ourselves so torn apart that we are of no value. Satan loves this moment and would wish for nothing more than for us to continue thinking this when you realized you are completely transformed into something different prior to the storm.

I wish that you could see how beautiful you are in that moment. That moment of brokenness when you are completely depended upon God to direct you. You have survived another storm where you drifted off out to sea only to fight your way back to the shore to become transformed by it.

You come back as one of the beautiful pieces that God, the amazing artist is looking for to use in one of His creations; His masterpiece. He got you through that storm because He knew once it transformed you He could do great things with you, if you were willing.

Thank Him for your storm! Thank Him for your transformation! Be excited about the journey ahead after you make it to the shoreline because what He can do with your life is endless.

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